can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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