i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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