I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Every concussion has its silver lining
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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