What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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