Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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