I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
