Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
