His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think i have herpe
just one?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
