last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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