God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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