I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
