you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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