Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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