he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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