Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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