We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
