How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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