And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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