Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
