I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She bit a glass in half.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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