Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
