Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
