What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
