what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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