It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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