I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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