I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
