just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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