Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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