ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
