i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
