Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
