ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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