Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
