Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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