There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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