before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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