Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
