My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
