i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
