Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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