Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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