dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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