i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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