I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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