My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
