I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
