why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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