and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
