He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
