Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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