he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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