Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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  (424): I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick http://tfl.nu/5e2h
  Replies (1) Good night (1016) Bad night (1255)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.

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  (503): So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video. http://tfl.nu/od0z
  Replies (17) Good night (4970) Bad night (772)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.

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  (770): Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces. http://tfl.nu/5t2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3691) Bad night (1027)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.

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  (812): she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying. http://tfl.nu/q1xu
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (3756)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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  (801): He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied". http://tfl.nu/4up3
  Replies (12) Good night (2153) Bad night (3967)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"

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  (508): You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper" http://tfl.nu/17it
  Replies (22) Good night (1465) Bad night (3450)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow

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  (801): that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow http://tfl.nu/5dzd
  Replies (11) Good night (1021) Bad night (4110)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.

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  (718): you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke. http://tfl.nu/vku6
  Replies (13) Good night (3042) Bad night (1279)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...

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  (614): not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin... http://tfl.nu/5fas
  Replies (29) Good night (3111) Bad night (943)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).

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  (214): I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one). http://tfl.nu/5c4d
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (788)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.

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  (206): He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober. http://tfl.nu/q7n9
  Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (480)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps

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  (404): Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps http://tfl.nu/z4wh
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (377)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time

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  (248): How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time http://tfl.nu/txfn
  Replies (7) Good night (678) Bad night (460)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.

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  (903): He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless. http://tfl.nu/fekz
  Replies (4) Good night (1214) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.

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  (949): You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget. http://tfl.nu/i79w
  Replies (0) Good night (304) Bad night (426)

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