You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'