For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
