Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio

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  (617): I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio http://tfl.nu/knlp
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (852)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think i peed on brittanys purse

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  (314): I think i peed on brittanys purse http://tfl.nu/cbx1
  Replies (10) Good night (1880) Bad night (1403)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock

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  (202): why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock http://tfl.nu/5322
  Replies (23) Good night (914) Bad night (3753)
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  (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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  (949): just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will." http://tfl.nu/pn0l
  Replies (35) Good night (22134) Bad night (890)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

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  (662): He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people? http://tfl.nu/km81
  Replies (9) Good night (1001) Bad night (3261)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.

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  (248): You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual. http://tfl.nu/weeh
  Replies (4) Good night (2563) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think

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  (217): yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think http://tfl.nu/9wa8
  Replies (15) Good night (1355) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Oh good your over him

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  (631): Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying (1-631): Oh good your over him http://tfl.nu/vmmt
  Replies (10) Good night (1544) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI

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  (310): That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI http://tfl.nu/k5sn
  Replies (14) Good night (657) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.

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  (916): I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me. http://tfl.nu/xyna
  Replies (7) Good night (3681) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.

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  (412): He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up. http://tfl.nu/78zr
  Replies (8) Good night (443) Bad night (1633)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.

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  (438): Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up. http://tfl.nu/g79y
  Replies (4) Good night (1365) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING

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  (317): Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING http://tfl.nu/f8zp
  Replies (6) Good night (949) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude

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  (724): Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude http://tfl.nu/f4au
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.

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  (212): My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon. http://tfl.nu/pnvy
  Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (332)

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