And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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