I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
