They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it's like iHOP with fire
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
