Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.