Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media