Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
