You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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