as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
