I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
