I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
